do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
