im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
