I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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