She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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