i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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