yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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