you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Randomize
