Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
