No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.