absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.