honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage