bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year