oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?