i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
birth control should be required to get into college
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This is my gift to your gina
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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