Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
