This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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