if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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