Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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