I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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