yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize