careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
