really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
