yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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