this boner is exhausting
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
