I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
