I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm passing your future prison.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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