don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
