I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
