So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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