Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize