you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
