i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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