thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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