I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
