Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
