You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
