Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
