It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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