I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
