Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
