my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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