What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
