what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
