OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize