yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
