so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I love how my cats smell like pot.
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Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
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Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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