How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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