the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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