apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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