I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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