ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
