Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize