Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize