capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
