i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
