Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
