He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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