i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
