You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Randomize