omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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