yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
