just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
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