Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
