I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
