We're like a lot better than the average bears
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
