come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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